Chapter Six....Thinking Differently About Sex

While this might be everyone's most uncomfortable chapter to read and think about, it is one of the top 3 issues that couples argue about.  So, let's uncover what God thinks, what we think, and what our husbands think....then decide if we need to change the way we think in order to line up with what God says!!


Change the way you think
What does God think about sex?
 God outlines six purposes for sex
1. Creation of life
2. Oneness-sex is the glue!! and holds you together through joys and struggles
3. Knowledge-deeper levels of intimacy   When you are known-it brings joy!!
4. Pleasure
5. Protection from temptation-we should not deprive our spouse   1 Cor 7:3-5
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time.

 I will always remember Jimmy Evans remarking that sex is like spiritual warfare.  It is the devil's desire to separate man and wife and to cause strife!
6. Comfort-from the stresses and sorrows of life

What does your husband think about sex?
His thoughts about his desire are not just physical-they are emotional as well.  He wants you to need him!!
Sandy shares, "A sexually satisfied husband is likely to move mountains on behalf of the wife who fulfills him".
This can easily be compared to a woman's need for communication.
1. Sex will make him feel loved and desired
2. Sex will give him confidence
His lack of desire and/or unusual sexual behavior
There can by physical factors, physiological factors, medical conditions.  First and foremost, pray about it, and seek help if necessary.
His thoughts about your body
He is visual and he wants to see you naked!!

What do you think about sex?
Your thoughts about it and its importance
Are you weary and its the last thing on your mind?  Are you withholding sex?
"You have the power to dismantle barriers between you and your husband by entering joyfully into sexual union with him, even in light of your unmet needs"
Your thoughts about past hurts

Improving your sex life
 Prioritizing your commitments-exhaustion is just so common in our high speed culture  MAKE TIME
Getting in the mood
Seducing your husband-Visuals, Touch, Scent, Music


I want to encourage you to really spend some time letting this information sink in, and that you would open a conversation with your husband regarding your sex life.  EVEN IF you feel like your needs are not being met, why not take a step of faith and start meeting his, and you will find he will start filling those empty places.  If what you are doing now isn't working, why not try something different and see if you can't give your relationship a jump start and a fresh fire!!


 Remember to look over and answer the Reflection Questions on p. 124 and the First Steps following.  Please have the next chapter, Opening Lines of Communication read by April 6th.