Chapter Two...Attending to Self-Care

Let's Review the highlights on Chapter Two, shall we??

Sandy outlines these 3 circles of care, emphasizing that the outer circles are dependent upon the health of the inner circle, your spiritual health!!

1. Spiritual
Our busyness can mute God's voice.  And when we're busy, that's when we need Him the most!!
We can help nurture our spiritual health through
...Quiet Time-this is SO important, and yet SO hard to carve out this time.  You will be blessed if you do!!
...Attending Church
... Developing godly friendships, ones that will give us sound, Biblical advice.  Have some friends that are spiritually stronger than you to help you rise up!!

2. Emotional
...Uncovering the source of your negative emotions 
Is it me??  then repent, and turn away     Is is someone else??  let it go!!
...Rein in your thoughts
2 Corinthians  10:5 tells us this
**We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Take hold of your thoughts, and place them against the Word of God.  If it doesn't line up, call it what it is (a lie) and replace it with the Truth!!
...Tame your tongue-let's speak life into every situation we are faced with!
...Get the help you need

3. Physical
...Healthy diet
...Exercise
...Rest   Don't be afraid to downsize your schedule, take time to sleep!! and for you time.  For me, my "you time" and quiet time are before my kids get up!!  I need this time to focus first on God, then on the needs for that day before I have 3 little people who need me to help them get started on their day!!  As Sandy said in her book, no one can give you "you time" except you, so do it!!  It is a gift to ourselves, and those around you.  Though you may think of some who overindulge this time to the point of neglecting family duties, most of us neglect this aspect of our lives.

Now onto the Reflection Questions for Chapter 2.

1. What evidence have you seen in your life that your spiritual condition affects your emotional and physical conditions?

2. What do you need to do to ensure regular spiritual self-care?  Write it down.

3. Are you experiencing any of the following emotions:  guilt, shame, envy, anger, sadness, or fear?  If so

*What is your response?  Escape, Medication?

*Can you remember the source of this emotion? If so, record it in your journal.  If not, ask God to reveal it.

*When you're feeling this emotion, what do you tell yourself?  Write your response.  Does it line up with God's Word?  If not, what does God's Word say to correct your response?

4.  What small steps are you willing to take to improve your diet?

5. What motivates you to exercise?  Which steps could you take to follow through?

 The scale motivates me to exercise.  And I can honestly say, I have more energy for the rest of the day than if I would have slept the extra 45 minutes in the morning.  When my alarm goes off in the morning, I'm reminded of this verse...The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.  Matthew 26:41  I don't love exercise, but I love the way I feel and how my body feels.

6. How is your stressful schedule impacting your marriage?   What one activity could you eliminate?  Write the answer in your journal.

We live in a culture that is consumed with busyness.  We wear it like a medal around our necks!  But, we were not designed to run this way.  God has commanded us to REST!  I have gotten better about creating some margin in our schedule, so that when that "emergency" comes up, we have more time to slot that in without the entire schedule going haywire!  Our society says to involve our kids in every activity that comes their way so they will be smart, well-rounded, blah, blah, blah.  But friends, it is eternal??  With our kids, I want to grow them up to by Kingdom movers, Kingdom changers, sold out to God.  I'm not saying my kids will never play baseball or take gymnastics, but church is first for us, where they are being spiritually brought up to love the Lord and follow Him.  The rest is extra!!

7. What prevents you from getting eight hours of sleep?  How does a lack of sleep affect your marriage?   What small step could you take to increase the hours you sleep?  

8.  Which "you time" activity  gives you pleasure and refreshes you?  How often do you participate in this activity?  What could you do to make it a regular part of your day?  Respond in your prayer journal.

I've really tried to carve out some time for me to read.  My best scenario is uninterrupted, but this is not always possible.  It refreshes my soul, whether I'm reading about parenting, marriage, certain Biblical topics...whatever.  Something besides, Elmo Uses the Potty!!'

Truth is, we need this reminder.  Life can be overwhelming....

God did not come just so that we can live forever with Him in heaven.  Jesus said in John 10:10, 

  I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  Let's take care of ourselves and grab onto that life that God has for us, right here, right now on earth!!

Remember to look over the First Steps for this Chapter on p. 56.  And have Chapter Three:  Living as the Genuine Article read by our next serving time, February 3rd.  Thanks for sticking with me!!!

Chapter One...Equipping for the Journey

Alright ladies, we are off and running.....I welcome any of your comments and thoughts at the bottom of this post.  Just click on the comments link on the bottom of this post to share what insights you have reaped from this chapter.  Also, please feel free to contact me personally if it's something you'd rather converse with in private.



The three main bullet points of this initial chapter are

* Turning to God
 How can we do this??  Be still, Worship, Read the Bible, and Pray-allow God to speak to us!!

*Understanding your role
We are equal partners with our husbands.  Enjoy recreation together, be friends.  Be his helper.  Encourage him, support him.  Be his prayer warrior, pray for his strengths, weaknesses, and for both of you to be surrounded with godly friends.

*Sharing within a community of women
With humility....this means NO MEN BASHING!  Be around women who speak highly of their husbands.  Let's figure ourselves out first!!  With transparency, being willing to be open and honest with a trusted friend.  With accountability, that someone in our circle is holding us accountable to God and His very best for us.

Reflection Questions (If you haven't already, please take some time to answer these questions truthfully, and ask the Lord how He can mold you into the wife He created you to be!!)

1. When you find yourself in a difficult marriage situation, what is your first response?  Who do you turn to first?

Do we run to our girlfriend first thing?  Our parents?  Friends, run to God.  Seek His wisdom and answers.  He is faithful, He is there ready!!

In times of conflict, our thoughts immediately run to...."well, he did this, he did that....".  But instead, I'm learning to say "God, could I have handled myself better?  What could I have done to simmer the conflict?".  We will all stand before God one day to account of our behavior.  Romans 14:12 tells us this.  So, we can humble ourselves and ask the Lord....Have I done all I could do, to love him, encourage him, support him???  I have found this humility before the Lord and then before my husband, to apologize for my part brings forgiveness on both parties much quicker than when I am stubborn and "wait" for him to apologize. 


2. Think of a situation in your marriage when you relied on your own understanding to solve a problem, rather than turning to God for help.  What was the result?  How did this impact you and your marriage?

3.  Have you experienced a time when God has spoken to you through His Word?  Record these and other verses that encourage you in your prayer journal.

I would encourage you to start a journal to write down things that God has shown you, or done for you and your family.  Then, in times of trial...you can go back and reference what He has done.  If you are in a season where God seems silent, you can remind yourselves of what He has done.


4 Do you regularly pray for your husband?  Why or why not?

Our husbands NEED us!!  We should be his #1 cheerleader, with the Lord, in public and private!   Our home is a safe haven and comfort for them.  The world is hard enough on them, let's be the place of rest and assurance for them every day!!

5. Have you experienced a time when God has answered prayers for you, your husband, or your marriage?
Write these awesome answered prayers in your journal!! 

6.  What's one small step you could take to actively fulfill your role as wife?

I know many of us are home with little ones running around....and one thing I try very hard to do is show Jason that he is my first priority after my relationship with the Lord.  This is often very hard with small children that need help with many things, but to take time to show him he's important.  Do things that show love to him...whether it be his favorite meal, having a clean home, sprucing yourself up before he gets home, or a hot date after the kids go to bed.  We can all make time for what's important and our husbands need to know it's them!!  Tell him he's your hero!!

Over the next couple weeks, start doing the first steps, as outlined on p. 38 in your book.  You WILL be blessed by these steps...and make them habits!!

And finally, ladies, I want to invite you to join our church-wide fast.  If you are looking for a breakthrough in ANY aspect of your lives (and who doesn't need a breakthrough, somewhere?), take part in our fast, and look to God to show up in a big way!!!  You will find spiritual, as well as physical results!!  Take the plunge with us and expect great things!!!


Thanks for joining me today, and please have Chapter 2, Attending to Self-Care, read by January 20th.