The Bible tells us we will have trouble. So, how can we speak the truth in love to our spouse...
*Identify the Truth
The Truth about him
-his behavior, is it sinning or just annoying? Study God's Word
Watch this short 3 minute video from Emerson Eggerich, author of Love and Respect, entitled, "Why Your Spouse May Irritate you".
The Truth about you
- are you so focused on him, you haven't looked at your own part? How many Proverbs deal with the nagging wife?? Here are just a few...
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop [on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather] than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and faultfinding woman. Proverbs 21:9
It is better to dwell in a desert land than with a contentious woman and with vexation Prov 21:19
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than to share a house with a disagreeing, quarrelsome, and scolding woman. Proverbs 25:24
A continual dripping on a day of violent showers and a contentious woman are alike;
Whoever
attempts to restrain [a contentious woman] might as well try to stop
the wind—his right hand encounters oil [and she slips through his
fingers]. Provebs 27:15-16
-until you look here, you may be standing in the way of progress, growth, and healing in your marriage
YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOURSELF!!
I really like this illustration Sandy uses talking about us getting out of the way so that God can deal with our husbands. When we continually place ourselves there (trying to be his Holy Spirit), we block God from doing what only He can do anyways!
Obeying God's Truth
Ask God for wisdom, seek counsel from a wise Christian woman or Christian counselor
*In Love
I Cor 13:4-7 is power packed and a high standard!!
Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and
everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every
person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures
everything [without weakening].
-God loves you!!
This was SUCH an incredible revelation to me in the past few years-His extravagant love for me. This has freed me and helped me to love Jason better in turn-because I understand who I am!!
-Exchange your pain for God's love
-Putting love into action
1. forgive
2. remind yourself why you loved him in the first place
3. find concrete and small way to show love every day
*Speaking
4 Types of Communication-only 1 of these is healthy
1. Passive behavior-doing nothing, dishonesty, silence, prizing peace and acceptance above truth
2. Aggressive behavior-combat ready, Insults and profanity, Blame and Sarcasm
3. Passive Aggressive Behavior-jokes and snide remarks, forgetfulness, silent treatment
4. Assertive Behavior-Honesty
I feel _____ when you _________
I feel cherished when you ______________________
Respect-Ephesians 5:33 says
However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].
There is no (unless he doesn't deserve it....) clause in this verse......Just do it!! Whether they deserve it or not! In less than 10 words! And ladies, talk about him respectfully as well. What greater honor to your husband than to praise him in front of your children and friends. Avoid talking about any marital issues to your parents....they are just wired to be protective of their own and grudges die hard with parents. It is always best discussed with a godly woman outside close family circles.
Patience-God's timing is perfect, and His ways are not our ways
The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises 2 Peter 3:9
For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord Isaiah 55:8
*Putting it all together
This Chapter had SO many good nuggets. Whether you've heard it once or many times, they are good reminders for us. And I've included LOTS of scripture references for you this week. Ladies, if our lives are not anchored on the Word, it's shifting sand. I have such a deep desire to hide His word in my heart so that I might have it only my lips in that opportune time. Let this soak into your soul and nourish it!! I'm not going to write our the reflection questions this week, just because I have already gone on quite a bit....please take the time to look over them, as well as the First Steps, located on p. 161.
Please have Chapter Nine, Managing Money read by our next serving time, May 5th!!
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