Chapter Three invites us to ask God about any masks we may be
wearing. Many of us wear masks to hide our sin, which ultimately
prevents our healing from God in this area. We wear that mask of what
we think others expect of us. This is the devil's delight, that we
keep the darkness dark...
For sin is darkness, but God's Word says
I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. John 12:46
* Life behind a mask----is exhausting and we can't fool God
Superwoman
using praise to help our feelings of self-worth. When we act like
superwoman, we are inevitably forsaking the needs of our husband in
order to please others. This ultimately blocks our relationship with
the Lord.
Material Girl spending $ we don't
have to buy things we don't need to impress people we don't even like.
Oh, how true this is!! We live in a land of consumerism, where the
"next big thing" is always right around the corner.
the Perfect Ten
You've got it ALL together! Really a mixture of pride and
fear....pride that we can't admit our shortcomings, and fear of what
others will think if they "really knew me". Sometimes we use this
convince others as well as ourselves that we are all that!!
*Who,
me? Can you relate to any of these? Ask God to show you if you have
allowed any of these to interfere with your relationship with God or
your husband.
*My journey of Removing the Mask
1. Find your strength in God
2. Admit your imperfections
3. Forgive those that have offended you
4. Say no more often
ALLOWS you to have greater intimacy with your husband and others, show hospitality and give to those in need
Reflection Questions
1. With which mask do you most identify: Superwoman, Material Girl, Perfect Ten, or another?
2. Do you feel safer behind a mask? Why or why not?
3. Is living behind a mask working for you? Explain.
4. Would you feel comfortable in your church if others knew of your weaknesses and failings? If not, why?
Have you been betrayed by a close friend and have difficulty in
trusting others with your true selves? Ask God to reveal this to you,
and for Him to heal that hurt. Then, pray for a friend that you can be
safe with. I have personally prayed for these types of girl friends for
8 years!! I have a close friend but we live 2+ hours away. God has
brought these wonderful, dynamic women into my life and He
was not late, but right on time. These ladies are ones I can be completely real and honest with. I feel completely safe to share my heart with them, knowing we share the love of our Father and one another.
5.
Have you recently shared your struggles with others in a vulnerable
way If not, why? What would it take for you to overcome your fear?
6. What is your underlying motive when trying to impress others?
I think most of us have that desire to feel accepted and liked. I think through most of my life, I can identify myself as a "people pleaser". But, ultimately, I want to please the Lord first and foremost, and honor Him in all that I do. As God has given me freedom over that control of "people pleaser", I have found such great joy at living for Him and His kingdom and glory!! He is not finished with me yet, but He is faithful to complete what He has started!!
7. Does the way you spend your time and money reflect God's desires or yours?
Remember
to look over the First Steps on p. 69 and have Chapter 4, Captivating
Mystique read by our next serving time on February 17th.
I try to look as if I have it all together and I don't... I am still working on it and I get excited and thank God for each little accomplishment! I definitely had to do a lot more praying about the "little things". Before our daughter passed away, everything seemed like it was coming together and I did "have it all together". Then it wasn't until a few months after, I realized that things weren't really how they seemed before and I really didn't have anything together. But I am slowly getting everything together again as I slowly figure out "our new normal"... and as together as humanly possible! But I do thank God for this chaotic time in my life so I can really achieve how I want my household to run, it isn't easy and it is struggle, especially mentally and physically at times, but with God's help it will come together! I love a "good" challenge!
ReplyDeleteI feel safer behind a mask sometimes because then everyone might think I am normal and just like everyone else, but usually it doesn't work! But being a parent, it definitely isn't good to hide, because then I feel my children will not be true to themselves and think they have to be what the world says "normal" is!
It is hard to be comfortable around others and letting your guard down. I think sometimes we are afraid of rejection and think we have to live up to others standards... when really we just have to be ourselves and live for God. I think we can reach out to more people if we show our flaws and failings and can be more relatable. I think it is hard to find true friends that can just take you as you are, failings and all… but God has blessed me with several… and they live 2 hours away as well… which they will love and appreciate me for all my failings/flaws!
Being accepted. I was definitely a people pleaser too… and boy did that make life miserable and not fun. Looking back when Rob and I had our oldest daughter Savanna… I was constantly trying to please our parents on how to raise her just to avoid getting questioned and yelled at! I learned that I couldn’t please everyone on how Rob and I raise our children or how we handle situations in our marriage, until we moved to North Carolina for year, so that move was a blessing! I am constantly learning to lean on God in every new situation and making sure that my decision coincides with the Bible… I think that is the best way to do things and if someone doesn’t like it that is okay!
Heidi...Thanks so much for your comments. They are so wonderful to read and so much I can relate with!! I loved what you said about what hiding behind a mask can do to our kids. I do want my kids to be their authentic selves as well!! Wonderful thought!! And yes, I think it's SO true that when we show our weaknesses and flaws, it makes us much more relate-able to others. That's who I find are my true friends, ones who are vulnerable with me, and I feel safe to do that in return. Jason and I both went through a move as well 8 months after getting married (to GR!). It was wonderful for our relationship, as we depended on each other and really grew. And yes, your final thought hit the nail on the head I, too, want to make decisions and life my life in accordance with God's Word...and the people pleasing has to stop there! Thanks again Heidi...
DeleteWhat joy for me to read how 2 young women are intent on living mask-free! When you live behind a mask, you've erected a barrier of sorts that keeps you from experiencing true intimacy with those around you-even your husband and kids. Sadly, your kids will learn more by watching than listening to you so it's critical to live without masks in order to establish authentic relationships with the ones you love most. It may make others uncomfortable, but I've found that it usually draws people toward me.
ReplyDeleteHere's to living mask-free!